A woman passed a Roman Catholic Church on Thursday about 9 am. She noticed smoke coming out of the building. She shouted inside, "Father, Father!! Your Church is on Fire!" A few congregants came out and the Priest followed quickly with Bible and crucifix, dialling 999 on his mobile phone.
She could not believe it when the next day she cycled past the mosque and saw smoke emerging from the minaret. She shouted, "Imam, Imam!! Your house of prayer is on fire!" The Imam preparing for later raised the alarm, and wrapped up and carried out the Qur'an.
There must have been an arsonist about because the next day when out shopping she crossed the road in front of a Jewish Synagogue and saw smoke emerging out of the side window. She shouted, "Rabbi, Rabbi! Your house of prayer is on fire!" The Rabbi grabbed the Tanakh, raised the alarm, and ran out.
Going to her Anglican church on Sunday, she passed the Unitarian chapel (Presbyterian 1672). Now it was on fire. She shouted inside. "Minister, Minister! Your Church is on fire!" The minister grabbed the tea pot and ran out.
Arriving at her Anglican church five minutes later, there was smoke coming out of the tower. She went in - "Where's the vicar, where's the vicar?" He, unfortunately, perished. He had no idea what to bring out.
What happens when you cross a Jehovah's Witness with a Unitarian?
He knocks on the door, but has no idea why!
What happens when you cross a Jehovah's Witness with an Anglican?
He stays in the car!
|A chap goes to a Unitarian church for the first time, and later is asked what he thought of the service. "Very odd," he replied. "The only time I heard the name of Jesus Christ was when the caretaker fell down the stairs."|
|You can always tell which denomination's vestry you're in by what is hanging on the wall. In a Roman Catholic vestry you'll see a crucifix; in a Methodist vestry you'll see a plain cross, and in an Anglican vestry what you'll invariably find on the wall is a full length mirror. Meanwhile, the Unitarian vestry stores boxes of items for the next jumble sale.|
|In the not too distant future there are just two retired Anglican priests left in the whole of England. One was high Church and the other low Church. They were not talking to each other.|
Why are Unitarian congregations so out of synch with hymn singing?
Because congregants are always reading a few lines ahead to see if they agree with the words.
Why do some Anglican congregations mumble their hymn singing?
Because the congregants don't know what the words mean.
What two facts do Unitarians and Dracula share in common?
They both have origins in Translyvania and they both shy away from the cross.
What two facts do many Anglicans and Unitarians share in common?
Don't know. Really don't know.